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| Alyssa learning to walk at Malmgård |
I see piles and piles of tissue everywhere around me...They were either from my hubby or my little one or me...It's quite sad that we all happen to be ill around the same time leaving us out of energy and tad more crankier than usual. The little one is thankfully getting better and hubby is at the peak and I'm somewhere closing in on the peak. I have a doctor's appointment today so I can have her check me up and give me some sick papers. I know my colleague would say what's the point as I'm working anyways and should just rest. I am afraid that if I let go I'll lose control of a project that's spiraling like a tornado. It has some good days and some bad days (okay it has more bad than good), however it has thought me something important. I've learned that if I've never faced failure I'll never know success. So this was one of the lowest points project wise but I take it with a spoonful of sugar (lots of grunting and whining and oh complaining out loud) and write it off as an experience. I'm probably a sucker for pain if I said that even if this was terrible it was rather enjoyable experience, in a way I got to meet new people, weeded the ones I didn't want to work with in the future and the ones I'll gladly give good feedback and hope to be on the same team again.
So...I'm sitting infront of my computer watching chats pour in telling me to get well soon and then asking for help with work. The concept of sick leave to some people is non existence, same goes with weekends and personal time. I guess I have myself to blame for letting people reach me too easily. I know how irritating it is when you need help and there is no where to turn to, hence I've tried to make life easier for others thus making mine a bit more complicated. A wise person told me once that if I keep giving there will always be people who'll keep taking until there is nothing left of you to take from. She also told me that I should sometimes be selfish and hold on to some of the things that are mine. Time is one of the things she told me is precious and I should never give it away for granted as that's one thing you can't gain back. She's right. I've wasted quite alot of time as a youth (I don't know many that don't) and when you come to a certain age you wish you'd have the time you've lost.
No matter. I try to not worry about the time I've lost and try to enjoy the time I still have and make the most of it. I told myself if there was something I really want to do. Just Do it! (very Nike but who cares) Of course most of the things I want to do involves €€€ and some even lots of it (e.g. travelling). I'll just have to balance it out with the things that cost less € and save up so I can enjoy doing the things that cost more €€€. In regards to finances, a few years ago, the biggest fear I had was that I'd lose my job. Now my biggest fear would be to continue this rat race without accelerating in my career. Then I ask myself...what do I wanna do? The same old stuff, or just the same old stuff with a few fine tunes? I then realize without the support from my employers I won't be able to do anything more than the same old stuff, if I'm lucky I'll get some fine tunes in the turbo if you know what I mean.
I haven't been actively searching for options to advance in my career. I definitely want an option to gain more €€€, the problem always with earning more €€€, I tend to splurge as much as I make (minus the bills, cost of living...grmbl grmbl grmbl...ANYWAYS). If I could spend the way I did when I had € I could save € and life is great! Which will bring me to my next topic....stay tuned.
